They mean well enough but are your friends holding you back?
We know that our friends can be the greatest source of disruptive assistance, however, many times, we have surrounded ourselves with friends at work and in our private lives who don’t have our best interests in mind.
I know many don’t want to address this question but, hey, let’s be honest. Any time we talk about making a disruptive action, it is often our friends that talk us out of it.
Let’s look at 5 ways friends discourage your disruption.
First, friends like who you are.
What is the problem with that? Isn’t that what we all crave, someone who appreciates us? Yes, it is critical but it can also keep you from taking that quantum leap that may leave them behind. They worry that if you “go for it” and they don’t, that you will change. So they reinforce who you are NOW and encourage you to take steps that keep you in their comfort zone. They don’t do it to be mean, they do it because they like you.
But many times people don’t make the disruption because someone else wants them to stay the way they are.
Are you playing it safe because you appreciate being liked?
Second, friends are selfish.
Many times friends don’t want your success to eclipse theirs. I know that sounds harsh but, let’s face it, it is often true. As crazy as it sounds, many times it is our best friends who keep us from our greatest success because they want the limelight for themselves.
What are the motivations of those friends who discourage you from disrupting?
Third, friends are fickle.
Many of the people we call friends will not be in our lives in 5 or 10 years. We are a mobile society and many of the friendships we have now won’t survive a move. Out of sight, out of mind.
Are you hesitating to make that disruption based on feedback from someone that won’t be a friend if you moved?
Fourth, friends are threatened by your disruptive success.
When someone close to us makes a big change in their life, we automatically ask ourselves, “Maybe I should consider . . . ?” If we know, like and trust someone, we identify with them on many different aspects. So when they disrupt their lives, chances are that we ask ourselves the same question and the answer may scare the daylights out of us. To protect ourselves, we discount the need for change or suggest a “safer” option because it scares/threatens/intimidates us.
How does your desire to disrupt threaten your friends?
Fifth, many that we consider friends are just acquaintances.
Are they really our closest friends? Or are they causal friends or even acquaintances?
Too often we give too much weight to the opinions of those who are not close friends. We hear . . .
- “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
- “Play it safe, don’t go getting too excited. Most of these ideas never work out.”
- “Good luck on that.”
Who are you listening to as you seek to disrupt in 2017?
Surround yourself with a strong team of friends that have your best interests in mind and are willing to give you the best advise.
Be Decisive and Determined
Become the Disruptive Leader
I am Dr. Loren Murfield and I develop disruptive leaders from their positions in Human Resources, Management or as Entrepreneurs. If you are looking to leverage your power in the Connection Economy, contact me today.
Checkout my online leadership platform. Power University
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(c) Murfield International, Inc. 2017