I did not intend to become a leader. In fact, I didn’t think I had it in me. That’s why I was a follower and looked to others to help me solve my problems.
Is there any wonder why I was frustrated?
Then one day I had an audacious thought. “I can lead my own success.”
Murfield Coaching works with leaders and entrepreneurs in Real Estate, sales, and business leaders by thinking bigger and reaching higher to do what others considered “impossible.” One of the ways is by helping my clients examine their thoughts and language. These words, often unspoken, become the language of our success or failure.
When we dare to be audacious in changing our thoughts and language, we pave the path to our success by identifying, examining, and seizing opportunities that others don’t see.
In this post, I challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, take the lead, and enjoy your ultimate success.
My Stinkin’ Thinkin’
I told myself that I wasn’t a leader.
Why? Where did I learn that? How did I come to believe it?
Over the past four months I’ve tackled the core of that problem by writing my autobiography (watch for the upcoming release.) As I sat down to write in December of 2020, I found the project haunting and daunting. It was haunting because I had to authentically address my mistakes. It was also daunting because it seemed to be an impossible task.
Who wants to air their dirty laundry?
I know I didn’t but I also knew I had to in order to explain how I went from a chore boy follower to a disruptive leader. Despite the smooth road on the cover, it hasn’t been an easy ride. I made many wrong turns and pauses.
What stinkin’ thinkin’ has led to these mistakes?
From my early days as a middle child near a tiny town in a flyover state, I didn’t believe I had any talent to stand out. All I could see what how others were better than I was. They had more physical and intellectual talents.
No wonder I felt invisible.
No wonder I wanted to disappear.
That was the problem. I was looking at everyone else and comparing myself to them.
I also listened to everyone else, especially the critics.
Is there any wonder I never intended to become a leader? or an author? or screenwriter? or actor? or an executive coach? or podcaster?
I never gave any of that a thought because I listened to the stinkin’ thinkin’.
Over the years, I grew increasingly frustrated with a world that demands obedience but didn’t deliver the promised results. I found that when I wanted something, I had to make it happen. I couldn’t rely on anyone else.
The system wasn’t fair.
Complaining about the system didn’t change anything.
Therefore, I had to change myself if I wanted to change my results. I could no longer wait for someone to lead me. After all, they were the authors of their own story and I simply played a minor part. To be successful, I needed to author my own story where I played the hero.
If not, I had not choice but to accept what other’s gave me.
For some reason, I knew I had far more to offer than what my critics claimed. I also knew I wanted more, much more.
That frustration pushed me out of my comfort zone. Where once I was a follower, I took the lead by shifting my thinking.
Where I once did what I was told, I became curious. I questioned that stinkin’ thinkin’.
- “What if they are wrong?”
- “What if I have more talent that I was led to believe?
- “What if it isn’t as hard as I thought?”
- “What if I can develop the skill?
- “What if I can succeed and do even more?”
That’s not just a little curiosity. It is an audacious curiosity. Audacious is extremely bold and daring. It is uninhibited in its curiosity.
Think about that. Notice how that audacious curiosity causes the shift into an entirely new world.
Asking, “What if . . .” shifted my vision in a way to see where I had been blinded. Previously, when I had expressed an interest to do something outstanding, others asked, “Why? Why you? Why here? Why now?” “Surely,” they thought, “If anyone can do it, it won’t be you.”
Their doubt, expressed in the “Why?” question, eroded the foundation of my self-confidence.
But what if I changed that question to “What if . . . ?”
Asking “What if . . . ?” fostered a curiosity where asking “Why . . . ?” slammed the door to any possibilities. Being curious allowed me to search for myself instead of waiting for someone to provide the answers.
Did you see what was happening?
My frustration forced me to rethink my faulty assumptions. Curious to find what works for me, I looked outside of my known world to discover the answers I needed.
The Audacious Results
I found something amazing. I had far more talent that I allowed myself to admit. I also found a love of learning that allowed me to think bigger and reach higher than I ever thought possible.
But then something amazing happened. As I have shared my writings, others took notice, became curious and wanted to know more. That is when I began leading myself. I followed my passions and my curiosity. I wrote my first book, Chevettes to Corvettes: Unleashing the Ultimate Small Business. My success brought attention. Two years later I wrote another book. That garnered even more attention. But then the following year, 2010, I wrote 8 books.
That’s when I triggered their curiosity. “How did you do that?” The critics still cast their suspicion because they couldn’t think that big. Now, as I’m about to release books #22 and #23, they are convinced. They look to be as a thought leader for ideas, insight and solutions. They have followed me as I facilitate a mastermind, host a podcast, and host online courses.
I really did not intend to become a writer or a leader. Instead, my leadership started with my curiosity.
I wrote this post to help you see how you can lead your own disruptive success. I really didn’t write this to brag about myself.
Instead, I want to challenge you.
THINK BIGGER: Don’t settle for the Stinkin’ Thinkin’ from others or yourself.
REACH HIGHER!: Be curious. Ask “What if could learn how to . . . ?”
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE: Set audacious goals that make you nervous but take you to the level you want to be.
Loren Murfield, PhD
I work with leaders and entrepreneurs in small business, sales and Real Estate to think bigger and reach higher to find their breakthrough success. Contact me to begin thinking bigger.
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