Audacious Lies we Tell Ourselves

We often settle for ordinary results when the audacious, ultimate opportunities are at our fingertips.


Because we fear the worst, doubt ourselves, and worry about being criticized. We also fear failing. Look deeper and you will uncover a pack of bold-faced lies lurking in the background to keep us content with the mediocre results. They creep in and then we repeat them so often that we believe they are true.

However, all lies are not equal. Some lies are ordinary, and some are audacious.

Lies are voiced in a variety of ways. Sometimes the lies are focused on the world around us and other times about ourselves. These lies fall into three specific messages focused on “I” “They” and “It.” Notice in the following how these ordinary lies lead to missing audacious opportunities. That makes them audacious lies.

In this post we will examine the “I” messages that convince us to forego the audacious opportunities. The next post will focus on “They” messages and the third post will focus on “It” messages.

Those that follow me have seen my recent pivot from Murfield International, Inc. to my collaboration with real estate broker Patrick Lynch. Together we work to help leaders in business, real estate, and sales achieve their TOTAL Career Growth. TOTAL stands for Taking Others To Audacious Levels. To reach astounding levels we help them to think bigger, reach higher, and be willing to do what others think is impossible.  To do that, we must use critical thinking. We set ourselves up for failure when we base our future on personal opinions rather than credible sources. We utilize online and in-person coaching, training, and speaking, and podcasts to help our clients.

“I” Messages

 The “I” messages show how we are lacking in some way. This may sound like we are taking personal responsibility, but that isn’t true. Instead, too often “I” statements are declaring that is the way we are and there is nothing we do will change it. We lie to ourselves to absolve ourselves of the guilt of not being able to achieve something. We can do more but we hide behind a lie.

For example, read through the following “I” statements about what we don’t have, cannot do, or need but cannot secure. Then notice how these lies limit our identity.

I don’t have . . .

  • any experience.
  • enough success.
  • the DNA.
  • family history.
  • the right personality.
  • the destiny.

I can’t  . . . .

  • see how it will work.
  • imagine it working.
  • do those things.
  • work that hard.
  • learn.
  • think like that.

I need . . .

  • more education.
  • more money.
  • more help.
  • better help.
  • more time.
  • resources.
  •      energy.

I’m not _____________ enough.  

  • good
  • strong
  • knowledgeable
  •  lucky

Theses are audacious lies because a) they are often not true, and b) even if they are, they cannot be changed.

Audacious Truth

The truth is that we probably have enough resources, experience, etc. At times we need to look hard to find how we can access them and at other times, we need to prioritize what we have.  

But don’t believe the lie, we have more than what we currently think we have.

This lie is about the past and the present, who we are and how we have gotten here. The truth is that our past does NOT dictate our future. Just because we haven’t done something doesn’t mean we cannot or will not. It simply means we have not done it yet.

The audacious truth is that we can do far more than what we claim. Might we be claiming we can’t when in fact we won’t?

Desire is something we can create. It just takes some effort. That is far better than the lie that it cannot be done. Impossible simply means that we don’t yet have the resources.

Notice how challenging that thinking will change an obstacle into an opportunity. Impossible doesn’t mean it cannot ever be done or be done by you. Instead, it simply means there is an opportunity when we find the resources to make it possible.

Exposing the Lie

For example, I purchased a guitar in high school but never progressed beyond the beginner stage. I believed that I had to play more chords to be able to progress and perform. Because I struggled with bar chord and others that required more dexterity, I left the guitar in the case for at least 30 years. I only took it out to play on a rare occasion. Can you imagine my dismay when I learned that several popular musicians used only three chords? Imagine the results if I would’ve sought out those songs that only used the A, C, and D or G, C. and D, or C, F, and G chords. I was both delighted with the opportunities  and disgusted with myself when I learned the truth. I quickly bought the songbooks and began to play. But I still am frustrated that I allowed that lie to prevent me from playing. Today I have vast library of songs that I can play easily. I believed the audacious lie and missed audacious opportunities.

Some might criticize my ignorance, claiming I should have known that information. That again is a lie that others put on us that leads to failure, not success. Just because others knew something and we didn’t doesn’t say anything about us. To sense and seize audacious opportunities, expose the lies and dig for the truth.

Because I believed I didn’t have the skill or talent, I avoided the opportunity and dismissed the potential identity. I never thought of myself as a musician. I just saw myself as a struggling beginner.

Your Challenge

What lies are you believing about yourself?

What opportunities do you find when you expose the message as a lie?

Now consider what seemingly impossible opportunities suddenly become possible.

Isn’t that an audacious idea?




Loren Murfield, PhD

I work with leaders and entrepreneurs in small business, sales and Real Estate to think bigger and reach higher to find their breakthrough success. Contact me to begin thinking bigger.

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