What if I told you that some of your worst enemies were your best friends?
In coaching clients to pivot to their ultimate goal, many have found that they need to disengage from certain people.
In this post, we discuss 9 types of people that limit our progress to getting what we ultimately want. By addressing these 9, you may find the courage to make a pivot you didn’t expect but will greatly appreciate. Won’t that feel great?
Those that follow me know I write on pivotal success. I’m passionate about helping you break out and break through, thinking bigger to reach higher. I believe each of us should be living 100% alive. To do that we must make strategic decisions based on verified facts.
NOTE: This post is directed at both the individual and the organization. As organizations, to ramp up your success, you need every member of your team pulling in the same direction. As individuals, we build our team with people who are not on the payroll but still need everyone pulling in the same direction.
NOTE #2: In this post, you need to consider the people around you that are keeping you from getting what you ultimately want. However, sometimes the biggest problem is us. We will discuss that in the next post.
“You can’t do that?”
Listening to the doubter temps us to limit our ultimate aspirations, which oftentimes means doing what others consider ‘impossible.” We haven’t done it so they don’t think we can ever do it.
Fire them. You don’t need them.
Believe in yourself and don’t let them convince you otherwise.
Politely challenge them as to why they don’t think you can do it. If they persist, don’t listen to them. Spend as little time as possible with them. Your ultimate success depends on it.
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To do what we ultimately do, we often need help from a collaborator. Unfortunately, some people have the means but not the attitude to help.
They are the deniers.
Identify them quickly.
They will never help you because they have a hidden agenda.
Some people foster our weakness. They make excuses in an effort to soothe our pain. While they often have the best of intentions, they stifle our success.
This may be the hardest one to fire because they are often the closest to us. They love us the most but this is a personality that will not serve us well.
We must fire them.
Unlike Deniers or Doubters, we can’t just distance ourselves from them. Instead, we need to convert the Enablers to Collaborators. Help them understand that this is what you want most and that, yes, you have counted the costs and know there will be pain, frustrations, and even failures. Help them understand that their enabling won’t help you and is actually causing you pain.
Stay away from those that always have to get their benefits first. They are the ones who convince you to sacrifice your values,, goals, and finances to help them get what they want.
Don’t deceive yourself any further. They will NEVER help you without getting the larger share first.
You cannot make a successful pivot based on wrong information, untruths, or bald-faced lies. Those that cannot be authentic, open, and completely honest with you will lead you astray.
You cannot them or what they say. Even if they only lie occasionally, that puts into doubt what you can believe.
Don’t deceive yourself. They may be fun and entertaining, but in the end, you will pay the price for their lies.
Competitors always need to win.
That means that when you are working with them, you must lose for them to be satisfied.
Collaboration is always better but you can’t collaborate with a competitor. Competitors are the wicked sister to the takers. They will never help you get what you want if it means that you surpass them.
They are small-minded. Fire them.
Like the Enablers, we have those closest to us that want the best for us and try to help us. We admire and respect them.
They are accomplished and we respect them. That’s why we tend to listen to them. While we value wise counsel, the Dictator demands that if we are not doing it exactly the way they think best, we are wrong and headed for disaster. They blame us if we don’t do it their way.
Notice that attitude differentiates a Dictator from an Advisor.
Fire the Dictator.
This may be done with a heart-to-heart talk. Express your appreciation but also help them understand that you are not there to be their puppet. You welcome counsel but not dictation. Express how you are always open to good information and guidance but, in the end, you make the ultimate decision about your goal, strategy, and action.
A promise builds hope but an empty promise erodes the spirit.
Work quickly to convert the promise into a commitment. Hold them accountable, and if they don’t deliver, let them go.
Promisers (those that promise but don’t deliver) will never get you to your ultimate success.
Fire them quickly.
#9: Excuse Makers
Excuses are made for those that didn’t deliver. They either didn’t work hard enough or were smart enough. They might have procrastinated and therefore were S.T.U.P.I.D. in times of Opportunity.
They blame and say whatever they feel necessary to free them from the guilt.
To get what we ultimately want, we often need to experiment, using trial and error based on the best information available. When failure happens, as it will, don’t spend time blaming and don’t include those who do. Focus on the process and move forward. Looking back and placing blame won’t get you to your goal.
Make your pivot today. Whatever decision you made, begin right now to move toward your ultimate goal. Life has too many phenomenal opportunities to settle for the ordinary.
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THINK BIGGER – SEE THE OPPORTUNITIES
REACH HIGHER – DO THE WORK
DO THE IMPOSSIBLE – DARE TO REACH EVEN HIGHER THAN ANYONE EXPECTED
I am Dr. Loren Murfield, and I develop aspiring and emerging leaders pivot to their breakthrough success. Contact me today to begin your pivot.
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